A man's heart is as changeable as the skies in autumn
by asashouryuu
Summary: This is just a bunch of oneshots where Gintoki pushes Tae away and pulls her back just as quickly. GinTae
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimer applies.

* * *

**A simple goodbye is hard to say**

Gintoki took a sharp breath, eyes wide with surprise and something akin to horror. Was she going to perform a German surplex on him? He wondered when he felt arms wrapped around him.

"O-otae?" he could feel her body heat seeping through his clothes.

"I'm not going to stop you from fighting," he heard her said softly, worry and dread lacing her voice. He wished she did not have to worry so much for him. A good-for-nothing guy like him was undeserving of such things.

"I'm sorry," he said. He always felt bad to be the reason of her tears and to know that until he would not come home, she would wait for him in sorrow. He never wanted this or hoped for this but before he knew it, this thing between them had grown deeper and stronger despite both of them ignoring it and pretending that there was nothing.

Her hold on him tightened. "Just come home, will you? Don't do things so recklessly that I won't be able to patch you up."

He chuckled and allowed himself to place a hand on her arms. "Just don't let me eat your tamagoyaki when I get home," he said. Before Tae could react to his words, he left with her warmth and sweet scent still encasing him protectively.


	2. Chapter 2

Standard disclaimers apply

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**A kiss is meant to shut someone up**

Tae stopped walking and grabbed the right sleeve of Gintoki's yukata. At Gintoki's questioning look that held a hint of annoyance, she smiled.

"I don't think I can bear it anymore. Seeing you walk away while wondering if you will come back alive… I'm tired of patching you up after every fight you have." The truth was, she was scared that there would come a day that she would never be able to fix him. "A part of me wants to stop you. But… this is part of you that I fall in love with so…" Her smile widened but there was already a hint of sadness on her visage. "Oh what am I doing? Rambling on these-"

He kissed her. What else was there to say?


	3. Chapter 3

**Standard Disclaimer applies.**

My head is just brimming with GinTae stories. Argh! Somebody help me.

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**Tough being a man, you say? Try being a woman!**

Gintoki was by nature awkward when it came to feelings. He did not know how to be honest with his feelings or other people's feelings or how to deal with them properly.

When it came to feelings, he rather make fun of them or trample them. It was the best way he could think of to deal with them. So when Tae confessed that it was hard to be just waiting for him while he recklessly put his life on the line – he did what he always thought was best.

"Then don't wait. I didn't remember asking anyone or you for that matter to wait," he said and waved his hand in blunt dismissal. "Go do whatever girls your age do." Despite knowing the tight rope he was walking on, he continued, "You're better off without me anyway. Go find someone who can make you smile and make your life easier."

He pretended that his heart did not fall to the pit of his stomach when he heard his front door slid close. He never felt so alone in his life but he told himself it was for the best. He finally understood why Hijikata did what he did for Mitsuba Okita. Guys like them just wanted to make the person they loved happy even if it meant sacrificing their own happiness.

It was when slivers of sunlight lit the dark sky that the Odd Jobs trio, finally, came home from their work. All of them looked exhausted.

"Anego!" Kagura exclaimed. Gintoki who had a broken left arm froze right beside her. What was Tae doing here?

"You… what are you doing here? I thought you left." He ignored how happiness and relief flooded through him. He suppressed his urge to close the distance between them and pull her into his arms then whine like a boy about how exhausted he was and how his body ache just so she would fawn on him.

Tae chuckled, ignoring the funny looks Kagura and Shinpachi were giving them. "Why would I leave? I figured everyone will need a sugar rush after your job so I went out to buy cakes and lots of ice cream."

Shinpachi's and Kagura's eyes shone in awe. "Really, big sister?"

Tae nodded and stepped aside to show them that she was telling the truth. Kagura's mouth watered. "There are so many, anego!" Her eyes squinted dangerously when Shinpachi approached the table before she could. "Hey, four eyes! Don't get greedy!"

Tae smiled at the bickering Shinpachi and Kagura before she regarded the still quiet Gintoki. "Gin-san, I followed you by my own will and I'll leave your side by my own will too." Upon hearing her words, Gintoki's exhaustion and the pain on his arm disappeared. He never felt so better… and so aware of her presence.

Her smile widened, but there was something menacing about her aura. "If you think you can push me away with that attitude… you better use whatever is left of that brain of yours."

Gintoki sighed and callously replied. "Do whatever you like but don't come crying to Gin-san if you get hurt."

Even though he said it so bluntly, tension left Tae's body. She blushed when she felt his hand brushed against hers when he passed by. She glanced at him but he pretended that nothing happened. She sighed mentally, knowing that it was the closest thing to 'thank you' she would ever get from him.

_Gin-san, can't you be straightforward once in a while?_


	4. Chapter 4

Gintama characters belonged to Sorachi-sensei. I just borrowed them for my own pleasure.

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**Being straightforward sure is tough**

Gintoki stared at Tae above him. Currently, they were looking at the blue summer sky with his head cradled on her lap. He let out a mewl when he felt her hands carding through his curly hair. He heard her chuckle, obviously amused how childish he seemed to be. He knew he was childish. He wanted to be whenever they were alone because she never failed to spoil him.

His heart skipped a beat looking at her. She was more of a monster than a human with her brute strength. Despite the way she carried herself, she was a demon rather than an angel. However, he always found her beautiful. And he did not mean physically only. No, even her soul was beautiful – always steadfast and glowing with light. He, who had a traumatic past, could not help but be naturally drawn to it.

"Gin-san," Tae said softly. "You're scaring me with that stare."

He grabbed her left hand and planted a kiss on her palm then gave the same treatment to her other hand. He held them, aware that these soft hands that brought up her brother were the same hands that treated his wounds; that held him safe.

Smiling at the blush that graced her visage, he said sincerely, "You really have soft hands, Otae and you smell nice." Her scent reminds him of the flowers that bloom on _that_ temple during Spring.

A blushing Tae arched an eyebrow, wondering if there was a certain catch to this sudden rush of compliments from the man who was barely honest with his feelings.

"You have an amazing smile. I like your laughter. You're beautiful. And I-" He gently pulled her down and kissed her, never finishing his sentence.

_I love you._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Hideaki-sensei.

Pairing: GinTae

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**You want grace and beauty? Be a hydrangea!**

A small smile was on Tae's lips as she and Gintoki walked side by side along the Hydrangea-lined walkway. The raindrops clinging on the leaves and petals glistened under the afternoon sky and provided a perfect gloss on the flowers.

As much as she enjoyed having her brother and Kagura around them, there were times when she wanted Gintoki all to herself.

Just like now.

Her reason was simple. It was so easy for anybody to mistake them for a couple and the way a flustered Gintoki would flatly deny it was just so endearing.

Just like now.

She giggled when the old man looked at Gintoki dubiously.

When in this kind of a fix, Gintoki decided to resort to rudeness. "Old man, is your eyesight that bad?" He poked the man's eyes before he waved a hand in front of him. "I know someone who'll check your eyes for free. Can you see her? Even an idiot would not date-" The next thing he knew, he was lying on the ground haplessly with his jaw aching so much it brought tears to his eyes.

Tae smiled at the old man. "Who would like to date this useless good-for-nothing guy?" She then slightly bowed to the stranger and continued walking. When Gintoki remained lying on the ground, she gave him a glare. In a heartbeat, he was at her side.

"Hydrangeas are in full bloom now. It's so nice to see them," Tae said. She blushed and her smile widened when she felt a finger cautiously wrapping around her pinky.

An extremely tensed Gintoki agreed stiffly, "Yes, Hydrangeas are so beautiful in this time of the month." Then laughed just as stiffly. However, he slowly relaxed when a soft hand held his calloused one. He glanced at their entwined hands and smiled, noting how perfectly their hands fit.

_I'll never let go of this hand._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Sorachi-sensei

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**Idiots gather around idiots**

Gintoki scratched his head. _This was bad_, he thought while having Tae sit so close to him. _Really bad_. Somebody should just rip out his heart that was beating so fast just because of her nearness. Her closeness and sweet scent were testing his self-control. Shouyo would probably either laugh or br disappointed how one of his students was reduce to this state by a mere girl.

Trying to get a hold of himself, Gintoki repeatedly hit his head against Otose's counter. "Somebody," he moaned over and over again.

"Gin-san, will you please stop that?" a clearly annoyed Tae asked him. "If not, you'll hurt yourself," she added. But behind her, there was the warning of 'I'll kill you' in bloody letters, scrolling back and forth. He immediately scurried away from her. He was a sadist, not a masochist so why did he ended up falling for her?

**::xxXXxx::**

Tae pushed another empty Bargain Dash cup from her and looked at the blue sky from her living room. She sighed. What was she doing anyway? Right, she was doing nothing. She was not doing anything because she knew it was futile. Gintoki showed no interest on having a relationship. Worse, Gintoki showed no interest in her. Then there was Shinpachi who would smack her good if she knew of her feelings towards his boss. Not to mention, their persistent stalkers.

There were so many reasons for her not to seek him out and she wished her heart would understand these reasons too so it would stop beating for that stupid man.

**::xxXXxx::**

Shinpachi was not stupid. Since he was a small boy, he was perceptive more than the people around him thought. With his eyeglasses, he became even more perceptive. It was obvious. No matter how much his big sister tried to hide it, he could clearly see she was in love with Gintoki.

He rolled his eyes. Why did it have to be that guy? His boss was perennially broke. He was a good-for-nothing ass who preferred to read his JUMP comics rather than work. Technically, useless. And during the times that he wasn't useless, he showed tendency of risking his life to protect important things to the people around him. That recklessness of his would lead him to his death one day and then what would happen to his sister? Gintoki would probably just make her cry more than make her smile and laugh. No, he could not approve of his sister's choice for a boyfriend.

However, to see her with her most beautiful smile on her face when _that_ man was around… Shinpachi sighed. He was not stupid.

**::xxXXxx::**

Gintoki really did try to be patient. He really did but he also had his limits so without any hesitation, he grabbed Kagura's head, willing it to explode in his tight grip.

"What the hell is your problem?" he demanded, annoyance clearly tangible in his loud voice. "You've been staring at me for awhile now. If you have a problem, spit it out."

Not to be outdone, Kagura gave him an uppercut.

"You brat, what is your problem?" He became wary when Kagura hunkered in front of him. Before he could say anything to placate this little monster, Kagura patted his right shoulder. "Mami is so proud of you. You're a big boy now." She wiped her non-existent tears of joy. "If your papi didn't die, he would have-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gintoki looked even more irritated.

"Love makes any person look all grown up," Kagura said wisely. "Now bring that lady and introduce her to mami."

Gintoki sighed in resignation at the girl's idiocy. "You've been watching too much drama."

"If you and boss lady get married, are we going to move in to their dojo?" Kagura asked. In reply, Gintoki hit her head. Hard. "Stop talking ridiculous things."

Kagura smiled and looked at him with her innocent but knowing eyes. Gintoki clucked his tongue. _Why am I surrounded with stupid people?_

**::end::**


	7. Chapter 7

Standard disclaimer applies

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**Stand firm rather than give in to peer pressure**

Otose took a long drag from her cigarette before approaching the lone man sitting at the corner of her counter.

"How about you stop running away and embrace those feelings?" she said. Apathetic red eyes looked at her. "What are you talking about, old hag? Feelings? I always embrace cream pie fillings."

Otose ignored his poor attempt on joking and pressed on stubbornly. "This old hag can see past your charade. You're so painful to watch." When Gintoki did not say anything but hung his head, she continued. "Even if the feeling is mutual, women wants to be reassured."

"She's not a woman. She's half-gorilla… and half-monster too." Otose smirked a little. At least, Gintoki was beginning to be honest. "And she deserves better."

Yes, Tae deserved better. A guy like him would only bring too many troubles. He looked at his hands and clenched them in fists. His hands were too tainted with blood that he was certain he could never hold someone as innocent as Tae. And his past… his past was dark and haunting. He had so many enemies and if they found out about Tae, he knew they would take advantage of her to bend him to their will. He shuddered at the thought of what Takasugi could do to her. He doubt he could control the demon within him if something bad would happen to her because of him. No, he could not drag her into his mess. He should not let her get involved.

Otose sighed and took a sip from her glass. With motherly affection in her eyes, she said, "Everybody deserves to be happy, Gintoki. Even someone like you."

"I'm happy," Gintoki mumbled. Yes, he was happy to see her. She did not need to be his to make him happy. Having her in his life, regardless of how she treat him, was enough.

"I don't mean that kind of happiness," Otose snapped. She sighed and dropped something on the table. "Instead of drinking yourself to oblivion, return this to Otae for me, will you?"

Gintoki looked at the books and then looked at the old hag. He was about to refuse but she added, "If you do, you won't have to pay me for the next three months."

He clucked his tongue. "I'll hold you to your words, old hag." Then his tone became defensive, "And I'm not going there because I want to see her! I'm going there because of these!" He slapped his hand on the books. "These! You hear me?"

Otose waved her hand. "Go before I change my mind about the rent." Gintoki immediately disappeared. Otose took another drag.

** xX0Xx**

Tae opened the back door of the Snack Smile club and stopped when she saw Gintoki. "Gin-san, what are you doing here?" she asked, her heart beating so fast, it was a miracle her voice did not come out a bit breathless.

"The old hag said to return these," he replied and casually tossed the books to Tae's direction.

Tae was distracted that she did not catch the books. To be exact, he threw all the books at the same time, she could not decide which one to catch first. She looked at the books lying on her feet. Funny, she did not own those books and even if she did, she would not lend it to Otose. They were not _that_ familiar with each other. She picked one and threw it right into Gintoki's face. "Is that how you return things?" she demanded.

"Otae's guy," Oryou who also exited the club after Tae, said. "It's nice to see you." She looked at Tae. "Does that mean you're not going with us to _that_ place?"

Gintoki waved his hand dismissively. "I just came to run an errand for an old hag. I'm not here to pick her up and I'm about to leave anyway."

Noticing Tae's disappointed look, Oryou said, "But you can come with us. Otae will probably get drunk. She won't listen to us if we stop her but if it's you…"

The rest of the girls nodded in agreement. Tae continued staring at her feet. Gintoki looked at them indifferently. _What the hell is this? Some high school match making?_

"And she needs someone to accompany her home," Oryou pressed on. "You know how dangerous Kabuki district is especially during the night."

_What's with these guys?_

Once again, the other girls nodded in agreement in a heart beat. They were beginning to annoy him so bad that the idea of snapping their necks was getting more and more tempting. He stared at them. They all stared back at him like some villain in a cheap horror film.

He scratched the bridge of his nose, nervous. He would never admit that he was sweating bullets under those heavy stares. "Isn't this a girls-only night out?" he asked, trying to reason out with them. He swore that he would kill himself before he would changed into Paako for these girls. "I'm a guy so I…" he trailed off. Their stare was slowly overwhelming him until he snapped. "Fine!" he said.

The girls mumbled something about Otae's boyfriend. Gintoki pretended that being referred as Tae's boyfriend did not send ripples of happiness in his destitute soul. He rubbed the back of his head. "Oryou, is it? I'm not her boyfriend."

Unfortunately, Oryou and the rest of the girls had already started walking and ignoring him, leaving him with Tae. He grumbled about women and their penchant for selective hearing.

"Becoming my boyfriend… is it that bad of an idea?" Tae asked quietly while she continued to stare ahead. She was too embarrassed to look at the man walking beside her.

Gintoki took a sideway glance at her. Why was she asking such tricky question now of all times? Talk about bad timing. Was she able to sense his need of draping his arm around her and pulling her close? Was that the reason?

If he would say no, she would consider it an insult and would punch the daylight out of him. If he would say yes, she might consider it as flirting and he would still end up being a punching bag. Tough luck.

"Why do you want to know?"

He acted like understanding dawned on him. "Oh! I see." He regarded her like how a parent would when his child was close to walking down the path of evil. "You're giving into peer pressure, am I right? You shouldn't. Even if your friends will tell you to do this and that and that other thing, you should stand firm. Don't let them push you into doing something you don't want to," he told her in a patronizing way.

Tae sighed. It was hopeless. "You're really a silly man, Gin-san."

Gintoki stared ahead but there was a wistful smile on his face. _Silly enough to fall for you._

**::end::**


End file.
